Monday, October 13, 2014

Thoughts on International Adoption

This particular topic has been on my mind for a few years.  I've been interested in international adoption since the age of fourteen, when I watched a program on orphanages on Serbia.  It broke my heart to see children left in cribs, without any sort of human interaction to speak of.  There were no cuddles, no bedtime stories, no silly games to make the children smile and laugh.  Instead, there were children left alone in cribs, forced to rock back and forth and hit their heads against the crib railings for any sort of stimulation.  I don't know how any human being could have watched this unmoved.  A few years later, I was at a convention for the National Federation of the Blind, and had a chance to meet a couple who adopted two little girls from Russia.  The oldest of the two became my shadow rather quickly, and never wanted to leave my side.  Her little sister was more reluctant, and when I asked why, the answer made my skin crawl.  The child was abused in the orphanage.  She was kept in a closet and beaten on regular basis.  She seemed to dislike strangers, especially those who spoke Russian.  It didn't matter to her that her older sister trusted me.  This child remembered only cruelty of her home country.  Again, my heart broke.  I wondered how many children like that were stuck in an orphanage, with no love whatsoever, just waiting for someone to come and take them away?  My decision to adopt at that point was made.  I would do everything in my power to bring children like that home.  I would be their mother, I would love them, and give them a home.

About three years ago I stumbled across a blog of a mother who adopted several children with special needs from Ukraine.  I was always aware of the fact that children with special needs were regarded as second class citizens in Eastern Europe, but I never thought I would see some awful treatment.  The children are again put in cribs, not given any interaction, in some instances denied medical care, left completely alone, and given sedatives in order to keep them quiet.  For ust a moment, I thought I was reading about Hitler's concentration camps.  I started to search for other blogs of families that adopted from Eastern Europe, and saw similar stories.  My heart simply couldn't take it.  Why would anyone treat a child this way?  For the love of all that is holy, it's a child.  A child that didn't do anything, except be born with an extra chromosome/CP/visual impairment/etc.  However, that doesn't mean that the said child doesn't deserve love, care, attention, and happiness.  I still don't understand the fact that these countries treat these children in such a manner, and make it close to impossible for families to adopt them.  It's not as if anyone in those countries want those children.  Russia is acting in a disgusting manner by not allowing families from the USA to adopt their orphans with special needs.  Families are left hanging, and children are left heartbroken.  Nothing anyone says makes President Putin change his mind.  He's set on getting revenge, and using the most vulnerable population as a pawn.  What a sick man.

As I was browsing an adoption site called Reece's Rainbow (www.reecesrainbow.org), I came across a picture of a little girl called Holland.  I read her profile, and just couldn't get her out of my mind.  She has a visual impairment, and being someone who has a visual impairment, and a degree in teaching children who have visual impairments,  I started to make a list of all the things this little girl needed in order to be on track.  I kept thinking if she's receiving pre-braille instruction, learning how to travel safely by herself, is anyone showing her what braille even is?  Is she able to pick out her own toys?  Are people in the orphanage letting her know that she's special, and can do whatever she puts her mind to, even if she's blind?  I knew then that I wanted to take her home, because the thought of her perishing in the orphanage in China was just a bit too painful.  Sadly, my husband and I are not in a position to adopt, which breaks my heart even more.  I've been praying for a miracle since August, but so far, no miracle has occurred.  However, I had another thought.  Not a lot of people know about these children, and sadly, the issue is almost never on the news.  I think that raising awareness would help so many children who are wasting away in places that don't care about them in the least.  Raising awareness can happen when the cause is supported by someone that people either know about, or look up to, or both, and I had several candidates.  There are of course the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.  They're extremely popular, and I bet that if they decided to set foot in an orphanage, people would be glued to their television sets to see it happen.  Once it happens, all the horrors will be exposed, and the general public would be at least aware.  The only issue is, that currently, the Cambridges are expecting their second child, so asking them to commit to something like this would be a bit much.  So, the better option would be Robert Hardy, the actor from 'All Creatures Great and Small'.  He does a lot of work with children's hospices, and he does it in such a way, that no press is present.  That's not a bad thing, because all the attention goes to the children.  Now, maybe Mr. Hardy won't be able to visit an orphanage, but I bet if he knew the circumstances, he may be wiling to make a statement of some sort.  Again, awareness.

Ideally, I would love to start a foundation of some sort that would work with orphanages in Eastern Europe and China on improving the treatment of the children who have special needs.  Maybe send teachers to train staff on how to work with these children so that they're not left to literally rot.  I also want to bring 'Holland' home.  I know that my husband and I could give her a family that she needs.  I have the skills to teach her, and plenty of love to boot.  I hope to find a way to make these things happen.  There's no reason to leave these children to chance.


2 comments:

  1. Has anything been done to help these poor children? I put a google +1 on this post . Not sure how much that will help, but I agree with getting people aware of this problem. I'm interested in it too.

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    1. Hi Virginia Marie,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share my post. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to see people take interest. You asked if anything is being done to help these children, and the answer is sadly 'no', or any help that is given through donations, it almost never reaches the children. I'm trying to raise awareness by getting someone such as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge involved. I know that there are other people such as Angelina Jolie, who could be of help, but I'm not looking for someone from Hollywood. I want someone who does this because he/she wants to, and I've seen the Duke and Duchess interact with children of various abilities, and try to help those who are in need, and there's no doubt in my mind that they're doing this because they want to help. They're not in it for the fame or money, but because they really want to make a difference. Also, I'm not naive enough to believe that my voice alone would be heard, because even though I have passion, and drive, I don't have money or influence. When William or especially Catherine speaks, people start asking questions, and caring, so they would be perfect voices to add to ours.

      Now, I also realize that there may be other options, and I'm always open to them, so if you know someone who would be interested, and/or able to help, please feel free to pass this on. If you want to help, you're more than welcome. I'm only too happy to have any support that's out there.

      Thank you again.

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