Over the years, I have seen various attitudes of members of the general public towards those who have any sort of exceptionality. For instance, let's take my family. Overall, they'd like to think that they perceive me as an independent and capable human being, however, when one digs a little deeper and observes their interactions with me and my five-year-old cousin who may be on the Autism spectrum, the picture is a little different. My grandmother, for instance, is not a fan of my cane, because she feels that it's making me look 'blind'. I cannot tell you how many times she has told me on no uncertain terms to 'put it away' before introducing me to someone. She feels that if I hold on to her arm while walking, I look more normal, while it's just the opposite. She sees my cane as symbol of what I cannot do, while I choose to view it as something that helps me be more independent and self-reliant. When I visited her parish for the first time in about two years, I wanted to use my cane to go up the stairs. It caused a little panic attack, because she felt that all of a sudden, the members of the community were going to see her granddaughter's disability. Again, I just shrugged it off, and kept walking. My own attitude is, that anyone who wants to be in my life will have to accept the concept of my cane, before even attempting to getting to know me. Unfortunately, the first thing people see is my cane (well, it's rather prominent), and if it bothers them, then there's almost no point in going any further. They choose to see the disability, and whatever negative connotations that come with it, I cannot help that. What I can do though, is make sure that I'm prepared to function in the sighted world and demonstrate that my cane is a piece of equipment that helps me stay safe. There are times when I feel that I'm being sent a mixed signal when it comes to my grandmother, because she will be saying that I'm just like everyone else, but then, start saying that I need to 'lose my stick and get my eyes fixed' and then I'll have no problems finding a job and a group of friends.
My four-year-old cousin is a very energetic, and sweet little boy, who just may happen to be on the Autism spectrum. His father has no qualms about calling the child 'stupid' and 'retarded', and feels that he doesn't understand anything. However, he's quite mistaken. Evan understands a great deal, and his understanding results in his actions. He's giving his parents what they want, which is a child that doesn't understand anything, and is pretty much a dummy. The funny thing is, when I interact with him, he is very cooperative and is functioning on a much higher level than normal, and it's because he senses that I have faith in him, and that my attitude is not that of his parents.
The negative attitudes are more harmful than anyone thinks, or realizes, because they plant seeds of doubt and low self-esteem. I know from my own experience, that when my grandmother takes apart every social interaction that I have engaged in (and she appears to have eyes on the back of her head sometimes), I tend to feel very low about myself and want to shut down, and not show my face in her parish for the next couple of months. However, when a person that has seen my interactions seven years ago tells me that I have grown in confidence, I feel a lot more positive about my ability to connect with others.
Same thing happens in the classroom. When a teacher is only seeing that the child has a disability, and refuses to acknowledge the strengths, the result will be a student that does very little, and ends up hating school, because he is made to feel 'stupid' by the person that is supposed to be encouraging and kind. On the flip side, when a teacher is positive, and puts emphasis on the child's accomplishments, the child will be more than willing to do the work, put effort in, and walk away feeling like he/she is on top of the world, because there's someone who believes in him/her. In my own experience in the classroom I have observed students wilt and blossom due to the attitude of the teacher.
I had a chance to intern in a self-contained school in January, and the first classroom I was placed in had a teacher who basically felt that the students had no potential. Yes, these kids had severe and multiple disabilities, but that's not a reason to assume that they cannot learn. This resulted in a class that had little to no student engagement, and when kids were engaged, it was done in such a way that didn't make anyone feel welcomed. I was given an opportunity to work with one girl (we'll call her Casey) on one-to-one correspondence. I had to tell her a number, and she had to show me her understanding of the number by giving me the correct number of cubes (so if I said 'seven' she had to count out seven cubes). Casey had a lot of fun doing this, but then started asking me if one plus one was three. I told her that we could find out using the cubes. I told her to take out one cube, and then take out another one, and then count. She followed the directions, and got the answer of 'two'. I asked her what one plus one equalled to, and she was able to answer and show me 'two'. I cannot tell you how thrilled she was with her accomplishment. She spent the rest of the day telling the staff in the class that one plus one was two. What does this tell us? That a child can learn with the right support, patience and encouragement (the last has to be sincere, or else nothing will happen). The child has to feel that you have faith in him/her, and then he/she will develop self-confidence and positive self-image. I was not able to intern at the school for a long duration, because my 'revolutionary' ways of thinking alarmed the staff and the people in charge.
Positive and negative attitudes that exist in the real world, that is outside one's home and classroom play a very important role as well. Why? Because these attitudes have a very important part in the development of self-concept, just like the attitudes of the parents and educators. For instance, if a person is constantly being met with rejection when attempting to connect to others, he/she will walk away feeling pretty low. It won't matter what anyone else says, because unfortunately, the world at large is saying something which is the opposite. I know from my own experience, that something small like having someone grab my things at the grocery store without even asking if I need assistance is a bit demeaning. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the help, but I would much prefer if the person didn't assume right away that I couldn't complete the task myself. It gives me the impression that there's an assumption on the part of the other individual that I'm some sort of helpless person. I may come home from the grocery store and feel that perhaps I'm not as independent as I'd like to think I am, because people just assume I cannot take care of my needs. Now, on the other hand, when I explain the function of my cane to a child, and have the parent take part and react positively, I walk away feeling like a million bucks, because I have shown someone how I travel by myself. Again, to someone else this may be something minor, but for me, it's a step towards creating a world for my students that is accepting and tolerant, rather than ignorant and close-minded.
I know now, after three years of graduate school and one year of student teaching (as well as four years of living and surviving in New York City), that my biggest challenge will not be making a bunch of accessible materials for my kids, but educating the parents, other educators and the general public about having positive attitudes and to make sure they recognize that even those that are exceptional due to a disability have potential and deserve the same respect as any other human being.
